4/6 AP English Literature Prose Essay Example #3
This is a real, anonymized prose essay written by an AP student and scored 4/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Literature essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
The following excerpt is from Jane Urquhart’s novel The Night Stages, published in 2015. In this passage, an artist named Kenneth is finishing a mural for a new airline terminal using the long-established medium of egg tempera, a paint made of egg yolk, pigment, and water. He thinks about the influences on his work and how his mural may be received. Read the passage carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how Urquhart uses literary elements and techniques to convey Kenneth’s complex perspective as he completes his mural.
The Passage
The Essay
Urquhart uses vivid descriptions to show Kenneth’s belief that his mural shouldn’t adhere to external judgement. When thinking about how others may criticize his work, he says that, “the wall of cultural fashion that could keep you out…always fell.” Kenneth believes that while his work could be ignored by other people for not adhering to certain artistic standards or norms, this rejection is ultimately futile and pointless. He believes that this wall, or barrier, that decides what is and isn’t attractive is bound to collapse, and by using the word “always,” he implies that the evolution of artistic taste has been a pattern throughout history and not just a one-time event caused by his mural. This shows his belief that external judgement is irrelevant to his mural, which ultimately emphasizes how art is subjective because what is “good” and “bad” is always changing. Next, Urquhart uses vivid descriptions when describing the good travelers who know no fixed paths would be looking at Kenneth’s mural. Kenneth sees them as “rivers” that are “pouring down the steps” and “flowing darkly across the tarmac.” By using words which are all related to fluidity to describe the audience, Urquhart is showing how these people are not just static onlookers but rather constantly changing and moving just like water itself does. This description also shows how people are fluid but also responsive within their own environments; Urquhart’s descriptions of them as water are inseparable from their context “down the steps” and “across the tarmac.” By showing them fitting around their changing environments, it is implied that the audience may grow to adapt and accept Kenneth’s mural and not be rigidly opposed to it even if they currently may be like the aforementioned critic. Therefore, Kenneth believes that his mural shouldn’t fit around external judgement but can rather be accepted over time because art is subjective with preferences that adapt to new environments. Notions of “good” and “bad” can change. Additionally, Urquhart uses characterization to show Kenneth’s belief that his mural shouldn’t adhere to external judgements. When Kenneth is thinking about the critic’s suggestion “to keep things on the picture plane flat… he smiled as the apple became spherical under his brush.” Instead of making his apple two-dimensional, he makes it spherical, which is three-dimensional. This indirect characterization shows that Kenneth is happy to defy the advice that he is given by other people. In the end, he knows that it is his work and that he is the one in control. This action shows his belief that his mural shouldn’t adhere to external judgement. Furthermore, when Kenneth is thinking about people in his artistic life, he is described as them having “fought for space in his mind,” though the mural is still “divorced…as it should be.” This shows how Kenneth has been influenced by other people, but he refuses to let that affect his art. Kenneth chooses not to evaluate his work by the preferences of other people such as “a man who had never made use of egg tempera” but rather by his own standards. He wants his art to “live its own independent life,” not just a copy of what other people have created in the past. This characterization implies that he enjoys his work because it is his own, showing his belief that his mural should not adhere to external judgement. This characterization ultimately emphasizes how art is subjective because it can be enjoyed by some people but not others.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (3/4)
Sophistication (0/1)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The essay opens with a defensible thesis that makes a claim about Kenneth's perspective, giving the response something to argue and support. Evidence selection is strong: the wall of cultural fashion quote directly backs the claim about Kenneth rejecting external judgment. The analysis of that quote is the essay's best moment, zooming in on the word always to show how the claim extends beyond Kenneth's personal situation. The water imagery paragraph also brings in clearly relevant evidence, and the writer consistently connects evidence to claim by naming the action and explaining what it reveals about Kenneth's defiance.
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
The claim that the audience may grow to adapt and accept the mural goes beyond what the water imagery supports. The fluid imagery shows movement and transience, not future acceptance, and may even suggest indifference. The characterization paragraph mostly restates the thesis instead of pushing past it. The idea that the mural should not adhere to external judgment is repeated three times; the paragraph would be stronger if it explained what the defiance of the critic's advice reveals about Kenneth's relationship to his own craft. Kenneth says the mural is divorced from narrative yet narratives fought for space in his mind. That contradiction is left unexplored, and it is the most promising opening for deeper commentary.
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