6/6 AP English Language Rhetorical Analysis Essay: Albright

This is a real rhetorical analysis essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 6/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Language essay examples in our library.

The Prompt

In 1997, then United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright gave the commencement speech to the graduating class of Mount Holyoke College, a women’s college in Massachusetts. Read the following excerpt from her speech carefully. Then write a well-developed essay in which you analyze the choices Albright makes to convey her message to the audience.

The Passage

As individuals, each of us must choose whether to live our lives narrowly, selfishly and complacently, or to act with courage and faith. As a nation, America must choose whether to turn inward and betray the lessons of history, or to seize the opportunity before us to shape history. Today, under the leadership of President Clinton, America is making the right choice. The Berlin Wall is now a memory. We could be satisfied with that. Instead, we are enlarging and adapting NATO and striving to create a future for Europe in which every democracy—including Russia — is our partner and every partner is a builder of peace. Largely because of U.S. leadership, nuclear weapons no longer target our homes. We could relax. Instead, we are working to reduce nuclear arsenals further, eliminate chemical weapons, end the child-maiming scourge of land mines and ratify a treaty that would ban nuclear explosions forever. The fighting in Bosnia has stopped. We could turn our backs now and risk renewed war. Instead, we are renewing our commitment, and insisting that the parties meet theirs, to implement the Dayton Accords. And we are backing the War Crimes Tribunal, because we believe that those responsible for ethnic cleansing should be held accountable and those who consider rape just another tactic of war should answer for their crimes. We have built a growing world economy in which […] entrapped by poverty and discrimination are empowered to share, and in which every democracy on every continent will be included. In our lifetimes, we have seen enormous advances in the status of women. We could now lower our voices and — as some suggest —sit sedately down. Instead, women everywhere —whether bumping against a glass ceiling or rising from a dirt floor —are standing up, spreading the word that we are ready to claim our rightful place as full citizens and full participants in every society on Earth. Mount Holyoke is the home, to borrow Wendy Wasserstein’s phrase, of “uncommon women.” But we know that there are uncommon women in all corners of the globe. In recent years, I have met in Sarajevo with women weighted down by personal grief reaching out across ethnic lines to rebuild their shattered society. In Burundi, I have seen women taking the lead in efforts to avoid the fate of neighboring Rwanda, where violence left three-quarters of the population female, and one-half of the women widows. In Guatemala, I have talked to women striving to ensure that their new peace endures and is accompanied by justice and an end to discrimination and abuse. And in Burma, I have met with a remarkable woman named Aung San Suu Kyi, who risks her life every day to keep alive the hope for democracy in her country. These women have in common a determination to chart their own path, and by so doing, to alter for the better the course of their country or community. Each has suffered blows, but each has proceeded with courage. Each has persevered. As you go along your own road in life, you will, if you aim high enough, also meet resistance, for as Robert Kennedy once said, “if there’s nobody in your way, it’s because you’re not going anywhere.” But no matter how tough the opposition may seem, have courage still —and persevere. There is no doubt, if you aim high enough, that you will be confronted by those who say that your efforts to change the world or improve the lot of those around you do not mean much in the grand scheme of things. But no matter how impotent you may sometimes feel, have courage still —and persevere. It is certain, if you aim high enough, that you will find your strongest beliefs, ridiculed and challenged; principles that you cherish may be derisively dismissed by those claiming to be more practical or realistic than you. But no matter how weary you may become in persuading others to see the value in what you value, have courage still —and persevere. Inevitably, if you aim high enough, you will be buffeted by demands of family, friends and employment that will conspire to distract you from your course. But no matter how difficult it may be to meet the commitments you have made, have courage —and persevere. It has been said that all work that is worth anything is done in faith. This morning, in these beautiful surroundings, at this celebration of warm memory and high expectation, I summon you in the name of this historic college and of all who have passed through its halls, to embrace the faith that your courage and your perseverance will make a difference; and that every life enriched by your giving, every friend touched by your affection, every soul inspired by your passion and every barrier to justice brought down by your determination, will ennoble your own life, inspire others, serve your country, and explode outward the boundaries of what is achievable on this earth.

The Essay

By using primarily a combination of repetition of certain phrases and powerful examples of how women around the globe at that time were changing the world, then United States Secretary of State Madeleine Albright exploits these rhetorical devices which directly influence the audience who are most female graduating students by first showing that they have a responsibility in this world; she helps them see their responsibility by broadening the scope of their worldview from their individual lives to the global scale to encourage them to never be complacent about the way society is and to always look for a way to contribute to the world. “As individuals, each of us must choose whether to live our lives narrowly, selfishly and complacently, or to act with courage and faith.” The phrase “each of us” immediately includes Albright into the audience; she already makes clear that this choice is something that they as a collective must choose. She establishes herself as not some outside critic, but rather an active participant in choosing this choice. The audience, who are most likely mainly made up of women, are more likely, therefore, to be receptive to the responsibility of choosing between two lifestyles if she too takes the responsibility of choosing than portraying herself as some bossy politician. She then tells the crowd that they have a choice between two opposite types of characters, the latter of which becomes the foundation upon which this speech is made: a person who is selfish, narrow, and complacent versus a person who is courageous and faithful. “Choice” creates that responsibility - it is a deliberate decision to live a certain way, to live in a certain mindset, and to become a certain character. This affects the audience by showing that they are no longer passive observers as they once might have been; they are now part of a larger, complex, and dynamic world. Additionally, “selfish”, “narrow”, and “complacent” in this context have negative connotations, because she then shows how the U.S. as a nation is making the right choice by going beyond a narrow and complacent mindset, as evident in “The Berlin Wall is now memory. We could be satisfied with that. Instead we are enlarging and adapting NATO and striving to create a future for Europe in which every democracy - including Russia - is our partner and every partner is a builder of peace.” The repetition of the word “instead” creates a rhythm that makes these examples more impactful, clear, and memorable, helping the audience grasp the underlying message: do not simply look to yourselves and do not be satisfied with circumstances in which you find yourself. This example of how the US, as a nation, is not being complacent and selfless uncovers the underlying message by showing that even though they have achieved remarkable things, there is always more to do. She places herself and the audience into the global context of the time, broadening the audience’s scope by using examples of women in places beyond the US who change the societies around them. Notice that “I” makes the examples even more powerful than the Berlin Wall. She has personally met these people and thus has seen courage and faith in action; they are not just abstract concepts. “In Guatemala, I have talked to women striving to ensure that their new peace endures and is accompanied by justice and an end to discrimination and abuse.” By showing these acts of faithfulness and courage in many contexts allows the audience not only to see how these character qualities are transferable everywhere, but also that they are impactful. However, the message is more than making a choice - it is committing to that lifestyle, though there may be many blows and lots of resistance.. “Each has suffered blows, but each has proceeded with courage. Each has persevered.” This begins the second portion of the text that complicates the message because, though choosing a lifestyle of courage and faithfulness is appealing by the successes and impacts it makes, maintaining it requires perseverance despite the hardships and setbacks. The repetition of “... have courage still - and persevere” acknowledges that this lifestyle is difficult but constantly calls the audience to commit to this lifestyle. In her conclusion, she shows the worth of the lifestyle evidence in “... embrace the faith that your courage and your perseverance will make a difference; and that every life enriched by your giving, every friend touched by your affection, every soul inspired by your passion and every barrier to justice brought down by your determination, will ennoble your own life, inspire others, serve your community, and explode outward the boundaries of what is achievable on this earth.” In conclusion, Madeleine Albright using a combination of repetition to emphasize her message and to create memorable phrases with examples of women who adopt the lifestyle that audience are given the responsibility of choosing to show how their lives can change the world for the better; she makes herself inclusive in this cause, allowing the audience to become receptive to this responsibility; she broadens their view to the global scale, making them aware of how significant their responsibility truly is. Finally, she concedes that this noble lifestyle that will be worth living will not be easy - but calls them to persevere with courage and faith.

Score Breakdown

Thesis (1/1)

Evidence & Commentary (4/4)

Sophistication (1/1)

Why This Essay Scored Well

The thesis names two choices, repetition and examples of women abroad, and ties them to a purpose. The writer says Albright is "broadening the scope of their worldview from their individual lives to the global scale," and the body paragraphs follow that arc from the self to the nation to the world.

The commentary explains how each choice works on the graduates. In the first body paragraph the writer argues that the phrase "each of us" "immediately includes Albright into the audience," which casts her as "an active participant in choosing this choice" and makes the graduates more willing to accept the duty she describes. The second body paragraph treats the repeated "instead" the same way, explaining that the word "creates a rhythm that makes these examples more impactful, clear, and memorable" and that the pattern teaches the audience that "there is always more to do." In the third, the writer shows why first-person testimony lands harder than policy, noting that Albright "has personally met these people and thus has seen courage and faith in action." Each example is followed by an effect on this specific audience, which is why the evidence and commentary row earns all four points.

The sophistication point comes from one turn in the third body paragraph. The writer sees that the speech shifts from choosing courage to sustaining it, calling this "the second portion of the text that complicates the message" because "maintaining it requires perseverance despite the hardships and setbacks." Reading the "have courage still" refrain as an admission that the path is hard, and still a call to commit, shows the writer tracking how the speech's argument develops.

For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.

What Could Be Improved

The thesis runs to nearly one hundred words in a single sentence. The claim about purpose arrives only after a long list of devices and a slip in wording ("who are most female graduating students"), so a reader has to work to find the position. Splitting it into one claim about the choices and one about their effect would make the argument visible from the first line.

Several quotations drift from the speech. The essay writes "The Berlin Wall is now memory" where Albright says "The Berlin Wall is now a memory," and it ends the final quotation with "serve your community" where the speech says "serve your country." The second body paragraph also says the nation is not being "complacent and selfless," when the contrast Albright draws is with living selfishly. In a rhetorical analysis, exact quotation is part of the evidence.

The body mostly follows the speech in order, so some stretches read as a tour of the excerpt. Grouping the analysis around the two strategies the thesis names, repetition and firsthand testimony from abroad, would keep each paragraph tied to the claim. The conclusion has the same problem, packed into one long sentence held together by semicolons.

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