5/6 AP English Language Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example #1
This is a real, anonymized rhetorical analysis essay written by an AP student and scored 5/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Language essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
Raquel Vasquez Gilliland is a Mexican American poet, novelist, and painter whose works focus on myths, folklore, motherhood, and plants. In 2023 she published an opinion article in The New York Times titled “Go Outside, Sink Your Feet Into the Dirt and Engage With the World.” The following is an excerpt from that opinion article. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Vasquez Gilliland makes to develop her argument about the value of engaging with nature. In your response you should do the following:
- Respond to the prompt with a thesis that analyzes the writer’s rhetorical choices.
- Select and use evidence to support your line of reasoning.
- Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
- Demonstrate an understanding of the rhetorical situation.
- Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.
The Passage
The Essay
Raquel Vasquez Gilliland’s opinion article “Go Outside, Sink Your Feet Into the Dirt and Engage With the World” argues that being outside in the natural world can be a refreshing experience. Gilliland primarily does this by appealing to readers’ emotions, repeating supporting ideas, and explaining her message’s relevance to her audience’s daily life. Throughout her article, Vasquez appeals to her audience’s emotions by using vivid imagery to portray nature favorably to a reader. By using pleasant, descriptive images, Vasquez shows the rejuvenating beauty found in nature. Anecdotally, Vasquez mentions how she transformed a wasteland of “nonnative European grass blanketed the thirsty clay, red as dried blood” into an area where blooms “as rich as…jewel[s]” attract butterflies, hover flies, and bees to feast. Here, Vasquez uses imagery to establish a sharp contrast in the reader’s mind between how the land was before she began planting flowers and after. When Vasquez first arrived, the land was a “wasteland” of “thirsty clay, as red as dried blood.” The connotations of these words help create a scene of desolation, dryness, and despair. In contrast, the newly bloomed flowers are “as rich as…jewel[s]” and invite “butterflies, hover flies, and bees to feast.” Unlike the word connotations Vasquez used to describe the land when she first arrived, the comparison of the blooming flowers to “rich jewels” that invite wildlife to “feast” establishes a tone of prosperity and abundance. The point of this stark difference is to show the audience emotionally the difference between engaging and ignoring nature. Next, Vasquez uses repetition—specifcally anaphora—to provide examples of how being in nature has helped her think more creatively. For example Vasquez writes, “If I am creatively blocked, I walk barefoot on the earth…If I have a plot hole I need to fix, I visit my lemon and lime basil, If I need to make my writing more lyrical, I sit with the dahlias.” With the repetition of instances where she is stuck and nature has helped her move forward, Vasquez points out to the reader that nature has a refreshing quality that can help boost creativity. Vasquez’s use of anaphora appeals to her audience by creating a sense of rhythm, reflecting the graceful, poetic nature of the outdoors. Elaborating, Vasquez relates the beneficial quality of nature to her audience: “At a time when so many Americans are struggling with loneliness and isolation, spending a few moments outdoors can help us feel more connected…. You, too, can listen to my mother’s advice and see what the land has to say to you—be it a wide hillside of bluestem grass or a single window box filled with petunias.” Here, Vasquez shows the audience that the benefits of nature are obtainable simply by following her advice and going outdoors. Furthermore, Vasquez points out that nature is as much of a necessity as it is beneficial by connecting her claim to the rhetorical context: at a time where so many Americans are experiencing loneliness, going out in nature becomes all the more important. In this way, Vasquez links the refreshing beauty of nature to its necessity, and overall, conveys her message that experiencing the outdoors can be a refreshing experience.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (4/4)
Sophistication (0/1)
Why This Essay Scored Well
This response earns the thesis point by naming three rhetorical choices up front: appeals to emotion, repetition, and relevance to the audience's daily life. The thesis also ties those choices to a purpose, which is what the rubric asks for. The evidence and commentary score of 4/4 holds up across all three body paragraphs. In the imagery paragraph, the writer pulls two contrasting quotes from the same passage, the land that was "thirsty clay, red as dried blood" and the flowers "as rich as...jewel[s]," then explains how the connotations shift from despair to abundance. That is mechanism-level analysis, not summary. The anaphora paragraph quotes the "If I am creatively blocked... If I have a plot hole... If I need to make my writing more lyrical" series and explains that the repetition creates rhythm that mirrors the outdoors. The third paragraph moves to the rhetorical situation, quoting Vasquez's line about Americans "struggling with loneliness and isolation" and arguing that nature becomes a necessity, not just a benefit. Each paragraph names a device, quotes it, and says what it does to the reader. The prose is clean and the organization is easy to follow.
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
The essay treats its three devices as separate items in a list rather than showing how they build on each other. The grader flagged this: the vivid imagery of the garden transformation could set up the anaphora's rhythmic effect, so the reader feels the contrast before the repetition reinforces it. The writer could also connect the rhetorical situation earlier. The loneliness point in the third paragraph explains why the emotional appeal and repetition matter, but it arrives last, so the earlier analysis lacks that context. A revision might open the body with the audience's isolation, then show how the imagery and anaphora answer that need together. That cumulative move is what the sophistication point rewards.
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