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5/6 AP English Language Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example #1

This is a real, anonymized rhetorical analysis essay written by an AP student and scored 5/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Language essay examples in our library.

The Prompt

Raquel Vasquez Gilliland is a Mexican American poet, novelist, and painter whose works focus on myths, folklore, motherhood, and plants. In 2023 she published an opinion article in The New York Times titled “Go Outside, Sink Your Feet Into the Dirt and Engage With the World.” The following is an excerpt from that opinion article. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Vasquez Gilliland makes to develop her argument about the value of engaging with nature. In your response you should do the following:

  • Respond to the prompt with a thesis that analyzes the writer’s rhetorical choices.
  • Select and use evidence to support your line of reasoning.
  • Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
  • Demonstrate an understanding of the rhetorical situation.
  • Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

The Passage

My grandmother and mother also taught me that the natural world around us has stories to tell if you listen closely. After all, language is not unique to humans. One of my earliest memories is sitting on my grandmother’s cracked concrete porch, watching one of the many doves she had nursed back to health land in her raised hand after she called out to it. When dark storm clouds gathered over the half-finished roof, my mother would take a steak knife from the kitchen to the sky to cut the rain away. My friends thought it was magical how nature seemed to bend to their will. It makes sense, then, that I became an author, that my life is built around stories—that the idea of my first novel came tumbling to me when I was out on a walk, as if a piece of the sky had been cut over me. And whenever I am overwhelmed or anxious or stuck in my work, my mother’s advice to me is always the same: Go outside. Be in nature. Our busy schedules can make it hard to find time to spend in nature, and it may seem especially hard in urban areas. But at a time when so many Americans are struggling with loneliness and isolation, spending a few moments outdoors can help us feel more connected. Fortunately, there are several easy things you can do to get out in nature, no matter where you live. You can start by sinking your bare feet in a patch of dirt and consider the ways by which the soil nourishes the plants and animals that in turn nourish us. Maybe you can find a tree to befriend, be it a pine, mango or tulip tree. Use all your senses to engage with it—observe its leaves, feel the smooth wrinkles of its bark. When I lived in New York and Los Angeles, I’d have to hike very far to find a piece of nature to be in—the rare tree in downtown Los Angeles, the canopy of ginkgoes near Inwood Hill Park in New York City. Now, in East Tennessee, I walk a few steps past my porch, into my garden— two small strips of land that flank my two-story white and turquoise farmhouse. When I first moved here, nonnative European grass blanketed the thirsty clay, red as dried blood. I bought a shovel and set about digging up eight garden beds in the middle of that grass, filling them with plants native to my region: coneflowers and aromatic aster, bee balm and Virginia blue bells. I tried growing squash, peppers, yellow watermelon and white eggplant, but the plants languished and many didn’t yield any fruit at all. My land seems to want nothing but flowers. So I am trying my hand at breeding zinnias, cosmos and dahlias instead. Each bloom, as rich as a jewel, now attracts butterflies and hover flies and bees to feast where there was once nothing but a wasteland. If I am creatively blocked, I walk barefoot on the earth, no matter the season, allowing stories to feed the roots of my entire body. If I have a plot hole I need to fix, I visit my lemon and lime basil, staining my fingers with their citrus scents. If I need to make my writing more lyrical, I sit with the dahlias, imagining that their vast genetic possibilities fill me when I speak with them. When the summer gives way to cooler nights, my focus moves from leaves and blooms to the change in the angle of the sunlight. I think about how many times it has shifted over the entire lineage of humans, signaling to the trees to change from green to citrine, smoky topaz and shades of ruby. I reminisce about how I sat in that same autumnal light as a child, listening to the stories of my elders. You, too, can listen to my mother’s advice and see what the land has to say to you—be it a wide hillside of bluestem grass or a single window box filled with petunias. If the practice of listening to the earth and the beings that inhabit it feels inauthentic, consider that humans have long been in dialogue with the natural world. Indeed their survival depended on their connection with the land and discerning what it had to say. When they died, what was left of them in turn nurtured it, too. It could be that newly sprouted blooms or subtle shifts in sunlight signaled the changing of seasons—giving them instructions. Perhaps your ancestors, as mine most likely did, believed that the world around them was populated with sentient beings that communicated with them. I like to think that the stories my grandmother still tells when I sit at her table have inklings of those the animals, trees and rivers shared with our ancestors. Paying attention to what the land has to say is how I honor this legacy.

The Essay

Raquel Vasquez Gilliland’s opinion article “Go Outside, Sink Your Feet Into the Dirt and Engage With the World” argues that being outside in the natural world can be a refreshing experience. Gilliland primarily does this by appealing to readers’ emotions, repeating supporting ideas, and explaining her message’s relevance to her audience’s daily life. Throughout her article, Vasquez appeals to her audience’s emotions by using vivid imagery to portray nature favorably to a reader. By using pleasant, descriptive images, Vasquez shows the rejuvenating beauty found in nature. Anecdotally, Vasquez mentions how she transformed a wasteland of “nonnative European grass blanketed the thirsty clay, red as dried blood” into an area where blooms “as rich as…jewel[s]” attract butterflies, hover flies, and bees to feast. Here, Vasquez uses imagery to establish a sharp contrast in the reader’s mind between how the land was before she began planting flowers and after. When Vasquez first arrived, the land was a “wasteland” of “thirsty clay, as red as dried blood.” The connotations of these words help create a scene of desolation, dryness, and despair. In contrast, the newly bloomed flowers are “as rich as…jewel[s]” and invite “butterflies, hover flies, and bees to feast.” Unlike the word connotations Vasquez used to describe the land when she first arrived, the comparison of the blooming flowers to “rich jewels” that invite wildlife to “feast” establishes a tone of prosperity and abundance. The point of this stark difference is to show the audience emotionally the difference between engaging and ignoring nature. Next, Vasquez uses repetition—specifcally anaphora—to provide examples of how being in nature has helped her think more creatively. For example Vasquez writes, “If I am creatively blocked, I walk barefoot on the earth…If I have a plot hole I need to fix, I visit my lemon and lime basil, If I need to make my writing more lyrical, I sit with the dahlias.” With the repetition of instances where she is stuck and nature has helped her move forward, Vasquez points out to the reader that nature has a refreshing quality that can help boost creativity. Vasquez’s use of anaphora appeals to her audience by creating a sense of rhythm, reflecting the graceful, poetic nature of the outdoors. Elaborating, Vasquez relates the beneficial quality of nature to her audience: “At a time when so many Americans are struggling with loneliness and isolation, spending a few moments outdoors can help us feel more connected…. You, too, can listen to my mother’s advice and see what the land has to say to you—be it a wide hillside of bluestem grass or a single window box filled with petunias.” Here, Vasquez shows the audience that the benefits of nature are obtainable simply by following her advice and going outdoors. Furthermore, Vasquez points out that nature is as much of a necessity as it is beneficial by connecting her claim to the rhetorical context: at a time where so many Americans are experiencing loneliness, going out in nature becomes all the more important. In this way, Vasquez links the refreshing beauty of nature to its necessity, and overall, conveys her message that experiencing the outdoors can be a refreshing experience.

Score Breakdown

Thesis (1/1)

Evidence & Commentary (4/4)

Sophistication (0/1)

Why This Essay Scored Well

This response earns the thesis point by naming three rhetorical choices up front: appeals to emotion, repetition, and relevance to the audience's daily life. The thesis also ties those choices to a purpose, which is what the rubric asks for. The evidence and commentary score of 4/4 holds up across all three body paragraphs. In the imagery paragraph, the writer pulls two contrasting quotes from the same passage, the land that was "thirsty clay, red as dried blood" and the flowers "as rich as...jewel[s]," then explains how the connotations shift from despair to abundance. That is mechanism-level analysis, not summary. The anaphora paragraph quotes the "If I am creatively blocked... If I have a plot hole... If I need to make my writing more lyrical" series and explains that the repetition creates rhythm that mirrors the outdoors. The third paragraph moves to the rhetorical situation, quoting Vasquez's line about Americans "struggling with loneliness and isolation" and arguing that nature becomes a necessity, not just a benefit. Each paragraph names a device, quotes it, and says what it does to the reader. The prose is clean and the organization is easy to follow.

For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.

What Could Be Improved

The essay treats its three devices as separate items in a list rather than showing how they build on each other. The grader flagged this: the vivid imagery of the garden transformation could set up the anaphora's rhythmic effect, so the reader feels the contrast before the repetition reinforces it. The writer could also connect the rhetorical situation earlier. The loneliness point in the third paragraph explains why the emotional appeal and repetition matter, but it arrives last, so the earlier analysis lacks that context. A revision might open the body with the audience's isolation, then show how the imagery and anaphora answer that need together. That cumulative move is what the sophistication point rewards.

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