5/6 AP English Language Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example #6

This is a real rhetorical analysis essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 5/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Language essay examples in our library.

The Prompt

On April 9, 1964, Claudia "Lady Bird" Johnson, who was at the time the First Lady of the United States, gave the following speech at the first anniversary luncheon of the Eleanor Roosevelt Memorial Foundation. The foundation is a nonprofit division of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library dedicated to the works of former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, who passed away in 1962. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Johnson makes to achieve her purpose of paying tribute to Eleanor Roosevelt. In your response you should do the following: Respond to the prompt with a thesis that analyzes the writer's rhetorical choices. Select and use evidence to support your line of reasoning. Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning. Demonstrate an understanding of the rhetorical situation. Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

The Passage

For me, it is a great privilege to come here today and participate in this anniversary occasion. I met Eleanor Roosevelt first in print and admired her. I met her later in person and loved her. As she did to many very young and very timid Congressional wives, she extended her hand and hospitality to me and Washington was warmer. I saw her last when she came to my home on February 12, 1962, the day the Commission on the Status of Women' was organized under her chairmanship and her inspiration. She was 78. I have often thought how much she made those years count for her country. Nobody, said Marcus Aurelius, is either the better or the worse for being praised. We are engaged in an idle ceremony, which would have brought no comfort to Eleanor Roosevelt, if we come here merely to praise her great qualities and achievements. She does not need our praise. All of us are familiar with people who are the partisans of departed virtue, but are afraid to defend an unpopular truth today. Mrs. Roosevelt never stood with this timid company. Her conscience was her counselor, and she followed its commands with unfaltering courage. Nor did she really understand what people meant when they praised her for taking so many risks. She would have taken the greatest risk of all if she had remained silent in the presence of wrong. She would have risked the integrity of her soul. A rabbi of the Jewish community in Berlin under the Hitler regime once said: "The most important thing I learned is that bigotry and hatred are not the most urgent problems. The most urgent, the most disgraceful, the most shameful, and the most tragic problem is silence." Eleanor Roosevelt taught us that sometimes silence is the greatest sin. Do you remember what Dr. Samuel Johnson' said about courage? "Unless a man has that virtue, he has no security for preserving any other." Mrs. Roosevelt knew what those words meant. She lived their meaning every day of her life. Courage sustained by compassion that was the watchword of her entire career. Always she thought not of abstract rights, but of living wrongs. I watched her at close range one day when she spent two hours helping the 75th Congressional Club give a benefit luncheon to buy a wheelchair for a crippled boy. Only one person was involved. Where else do you start, but with one person? She thought of the suffering individual, not of a theoretical principle. She saw an unemployed father, and so she helped him. She saw a neglected Negro child, and so she educated him. She saw dictators hurling the world into war, and so she worked unflinchingly for peace. She saw the United Nations divided by the conflict of ideology and power, and so she became the prophet of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Are we ready to fight similar battles against new foes in our own day? If not, our grief is an empty thing, and the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt is not among us. President Wilson used to say that some people in Washington grow in office, while others merely swell. Mrs. Roosevelt steadily grew under the compulsions and inspirations of her great office. But, it is perhaps the ultimate tribute to Mrs. Roosevelt that she reached true greatness after the shock of her bereavement when she went bravely forward in a new career as a spokesman for America and a servant of world peace. In the White House she was the First Lady in the land, but after the White House she became, as Ambassador Stevenson has reminded us, the First Lady in the world. Great was her goodness, and it was her goodness that made her so great. Let us today earnestly resolve to build the true foundation for Eleanor Roosevelt's memory to pluck out prejudice from our lives, to remove fear and hate where it exists, and to create a world unafraid to work out its destiny in peace. Eleanor Roosevelt has already made her own splendid and incomparable contribution to that foundation. Let us go and do likewise, within the measure of our faith and the limits of our ability. Let Eleanor Roosevelt teach us all how to turn the arts of compassion into the victories of democracy. United States governmental body established by President John F. Kennedy to promote fair treatment for women, particularly in the workplace 2 Roman emperor from 161 to 180 CE eighteenth-century English writer Roosevelt was a delegate to the United Nations General Assembly from 1945 to 1952, and in that role, played a key part in drafting the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Adlai Stevenson II, an American politician who was at the time the United States Ambassador to the United Nations

The Essay

When a monumental figure passes away, delivering a speech about their lifetime impact can feel overwhelming. In her moving 1964 tribute speech, Claudia Johnson successfully builds respect for the late Eleanor Roosevelt and honors Eleanor’s contributions as former First Lady, ensuring her legacy will never be forgotten. Johnson inspires the general public by elegantly weaving together stylistic choices like anaphora, rhetorical questions, pathos, and contrast to capture the emotional resonance of Roosevelt’s passing and to continue Roosevelt’s fight for human rights. To emphasize the personal nature of the story, and to underscore the shift in Johnson’s perspective, Johnson gives the audience an account of her meeting with Roosevelt. When describing her interaction with Roosevelt, Johnson tells her audience that she “met Eleanor Roosevelt in print and admired her. I met her later in person and loved her.’’ By using anaphora with the phrase “I met”, Johnson emphasizes the fact that she actually met Roosevelt and how personal her view of Roosevelt was, the transition from a distant admiration to a personal love simultaneously builds more credibility for Johnson’s speech, which helps honor Roosevelt. After establishing to the audience that she met Roosevelt, Johnson also demonstrates Roosevelt’s calls to action by asking, “Are we ready to fight similar battles against new foes in our own day?” Through questioning the public, she challenges the audience to reflect on their willingness to push for justice. Her strategic use of inclusive pronouns like “we” and “our”, Johnson emphasizes that Roosevelt’s fight for the human rights of the people cannot be completed without the help of the public, which in turn will pressure the audience to champion human rights to ensure Roosevelt's legacy endures. This instills a sense of urgency and profound responsibility to act in good faith. To underscore the importance of standing up for individual beliefs and refusing suppression, Johnson appeals to the audience’s emotions. She demonstrates this through pathos when she states that Eleanor Roosevelt “ would have risked the integrity of her soul “, if she had stayed quiet after witnessing something wrong. By suggesting that staying silent would have compromised Eleanor’s moral integrity, Johnson highlights how deeply Eleanor valued standing up for what was right, despite the difficulties. This emotional appeal compels the audience to feel unsettled, while the phrase “integrity of her soul” forces them to see how remaining silent compromises their own morality, driving them to guard their ethical beliefs. Johnson also presents Eleanor’s courage and strong ideas as an example for the audience to follow and apply. Ultimately, Johnson’s use of pathos persuades the audience to remain true to their own beliefs, challenge injustice, and to have the courage to speak out when injustice is happening. Johnson employs contrast to show that Eleanor Roosevelt’s impact extands far beyond her time in the White House. She explains that Roosevelt is “the First Lady in the land” but after leaving the White House, she becomes “the First Lady in the world.” This comparison shows that Roosevelt earns people’s respect through her actions, not just her title, and also suggests that people don’t need to be in government to make change, establishing her as an icon whom the public admires. Even after her tenure as First Lady ends, she continues to speak up for others and work towards world peace. Through highlighting how Roosevelt persistently made a difference, Johnson demonstrates why she deserves to be remembered. She encourages the audience to follow Roosevelt’s example by advocating for what is right and aid those in need. Ultimately, Johnson’s tribute successfully elevates Eleanor Roosevelt from a historical figure to a moral compass who actively shaped history through compassion and courage. Through the strategic use of structural repetition, moral self-reflection, and emotional contrasts, Johnson shifts the audience’s grief into a collective moral imperative. By acknowledging a lifetime of her accomplishments in a single tribute, Johnson highlights her relentless efforts in making a real change, as she fought for human rights. Thus, this tribute serves as an inspiring reminder to the audience of their responsibility to follow Roosevelt’s example and initiate meaningful change within their own communities.

Score Breakdown

Thesis (1/1)

Evidence & Commentary (4/4)

Sophistication (0/1)

Why This Essay Scored Well

The thesis names four choices, anaphora, rhetorical questions, pathos and contrast, and ties them to Johnson's purpose of honoring Roosevelt and carrying her work forward. Each body paragraph then takes one of those choices in order, so the reader always knows where the argument is going.

The commentary keeps asking what a choice does to the audience. In the anaphora paragraph, the writer quotes Johnson saying she "met Eleanor Roosevelt in print and admired her" and later met and loved her in person, then argues that the move from distant admiration to personal love builds Johnson's credibility as a speaker. The rhetorical question paragraph works the same way. After quoting "Are we ready to fight similar battles against new foes in our own day?" the writer points to the pronouns "we" and "our" and explains that they make Roosevelt's work something that "cannot be completed without the help of the public." That explanation names an effect on the listeners, which is what earns full marks for evidence and commentary.

The contrast paragraph adds a point about Roosevelt herself. Reading the shift from first lady of the land to "the First Lady in the world," the writer concludes that Roosevelt "earns people's respect through her actions," and that a person outside government can still change things.

For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.

What Could Be Improved

The four devices sit in four separate paragraphs, and the essay never shows how one prepares for the next. Johnson's personal story at the start is what gives her later challenge to the audience its weight, and the essay could have made that link. The conclusion claims Johnson turns grief into a "collective moral imperative," but the body paragraphs never build that idea, so the claim arrives unsupported. That missing line of connection is why the essay stops short of the sophistication point.

The essay also skips the speech's most interesting tension. Johnson calls the event an "idle ceremony" if the audience is there "merely to praise" Roosevelt, while she is in the middle of giving a tribute. Explaining why a speaker would push back against praise at a memorial luncheon would show a real grasp of the rhetorical situation.

A few accuracy slips show up. The anaphora quotation drops the word "first" from Johnson's line, and "integrity of her soul" is labeled pathos without much explanation of why that phrase is emotional. The contrast paragraph misspells "extends" as "extands."

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