3/6 AP English Language Argument Essay: Baca on possessions
This is a real argument essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 3/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Language essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
In a 2019 interview, award-winning poet and memoirist Jimmy Santiago Baca asserted: “In America we value possessions. We would much rather talk about a new car than talk about a story that happened between grandfather and me. We’d much rather get on the computer and play video games and enact some cataclysmic1 epic 2 than to talk about the epics in our own lives.” Write an essay that argues your position on the extent to which Baca’s claim about the value of possessions is valid. 1 destructive on a large scale 2 a narrative or story of grand proportions In your response you should do the following:
- Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position.
- Provide evidence to support your line of reasoning.
- Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
- Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.
The Essay
In a 2019 interview, memorist and award-winning poetry Jimmy Santiango Baca stated, “In America we value possessions. We would much rather talk about a new car than talk about a story that happened between grandfather and me. We’d much rather get on the computer and play video games and enact some cataclysmic epic than to talk about the epics in our own lives.” I disagree with this claim because materialism can hold more value than past memories. I also agree he is not taking into account that some people struggle with fond memories and use personal possessions to escape from reality. Literature can often be used to escape from reality. I can recall with picture book author Dr. Seuss. He wrote children books to escape the rigid constraints of the society at the time. This was from “Dick and Jane” books which were the model for teaching kids how to read. In addition, it had simple and mundane sentences like “Dick saw Jane” or “Then Jane saw Dick”. Against this, Dr. Seuss illustrated the book, “Oh, the Thinks, You can Think!”, which requested readers to think of variety of color, made-up creatures, and endless sights of animals. Baca claims that it is more important to speak about “the epics in our own lives” but there was none to begin with. Society did not bother to create a space for Dr. Seuss to foster creativity and imagination. Art is used to keep record of events that occurred. In particular, Frida Kahlo, a mexican painter, often illustrated her painful and harmful experiences into her art. Her art was a coping mechanism against her trauma. To “talk about the epics” in her own life rather than conform to art is inconsiderate. Her story was the "cataclysmic epic” that can be in unrealistic media like “video games” because it was so dire and traumatic. Normally people do not face a pole being embedded into their body. His statement undermines that her possession is her way of facing reality. Others may assert values of possessions do not matter because they are temporary. After all human-made possessions eventually wear down or can get replaced. However, these people are ignoring that objects can contribute gradually to new stories with invention. In particular with Hedy Lamarr. She co-invented a “frequency-hopping” mechanism that laid the framework for WI-FI. In addition, she sketched aerodynamic wings for Howard Hughes which contributed to aviation modeling. These ideas modernize the world for people, allowing people to access tech with less issues. To “talk about a new car” is efficient, it helped made transport easier so why is that an issue? “A story about a grandfather and me” may be significant but with improved technology, he can make more memories with his “grandfather”. Ultimately, its the lack of understanding that there is correlation between people, places, and things. His absolute claim lacks nuance as he assumes that getting on the “computer” is not progress in life. In conclusion, personal possessions are more important than personal memories because they can track these memories and give more insight to make more.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (2/4)
Sophistication (0/1)
What This Essay Gets Right
The writer takes a clear side against Baca, arguing that "materialism can hold more value than past memories." Each body paragraph rests on a specific, named example. The Dr. Seuss paragraph contrasts the flat sentences of the "Dick and Jane" readers, such as "Dick saw Jane," with the "made-up creatures" of his own books. The Frida Kahlo paragraph describes her art as "a coping mechanism against her trauma."
The Hedy Lamarr paragraph comes closest to proving the thesis. After naming her "frequency-hopping" mechanism, the writer argues that "with improved technology, he can make more memories" with a grandfather. That sentence links an object to the memories it makes possible, which is the connection the argument needs. The same paragraph opens with an opposing view, that possessions do not matter "because they are temporary," which shows the writer knows an argument has to answer the other side.
What Went Wrong (And How to Avoid It)
Most body paragraphs describe an example and stop before connecting it to the thesis. The Dr. Seuss paragraph never mentions possessions, so it is unclear how his picture books show that objects matter more than memories. The Kahlo paragraph ends on "His statement undermines that her possession is her way of facing reality," but it does not explain how her paintings work as possessions or why that challenges Baca. These gaps are why the essay earns 2 of 4 for evidence and commentary.
The thesis also pulls in two directions. The first sentence disagrees with Baca, while the second says "I also agree" and makes a different claim about people escaping painful memories. The body paragraphs drift between the two. The counterargument gets two sentences before the essay moves on to Lamarr, so it never gets a fair hearing, and that keeps the sophistication point out of reach.
Some details need checking. The essay misspells the poet's name as "Santiango," and the book Seuss wrote as an answer to the "Dick and Jane" primers was The Cat in the Hat.
Ready to improve your own essay? Grade your AP English Language essay free with AI.
