4/6 AP English Language Argument Essay: Music and identity
This is a real argument essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 4/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Language essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
Develop an argument in response to this question: what is the relationship between the music we listen to and the way we view ourselves and others? For example, does the way we view a group of people we aren’t part of influence us to listen to certain music? How does music shape our identities or sense of self? Form and defend a claim connected to this relationship.
You may develop your argument through cause-effect, narration, or a bit of both, but your method of development must reflect intentional choices to best support your thesis.
The Essay
Musical Inquiries Music is an auditory mirror to a person's psychological state; different genres of music can act as a place to find comfort and emotional safety, foster new connections, and aid an individual in constructing their own identity. The purpose of music functions differently for each individual, ranging from casual background noise during studying, or bridging together a friendship. When a person is alone, music can operate as a safe place. Personally resonating with the lyrics of a song through its rhythm and lyrics can be enough to put a person at peace, or lead them to sprawling out in emotion. Music reflects shared experiences, such as the pursuit of love, and fighting hardships, and the well known fear of abandonment. For instance, an indie-rock song can help a person process their fears of being alone after a bad breakup. By providing them with a safe space to grieve externally, they feel less isolated. In financially tough times a light-hearted pop song can be enough to bring joy. The upbeat and fun lyrics allow for them to escape from the reality of their situation, providing mental relief. After a loss in a family, a heavy metal song can help a person to process their rage. By channeling raw, aggressive instrumentation, the listener can safely externalize destructive anger without judgment. Through various different struggles, music can become a person’s protective shoulder, or an emotional outlet. The sound of music provides emotional safety to a struggling individual. Not only can safety be found in music, but so can connection. [school] can be an intimidating and unfamiliar place. Students face high social expectations, academic pressure, and life can begin to feel overwhelming with uncertainty. In this setting, the small act of sharing a song acts as an immediate invitation to bond. Music taste acts as a signifier; for example a person who enjoys listening to pop music by Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Carpenter probably wouldn’t enjoy listening to an alternative band like Nirvana or Toad the Wet Sprocket. Both of these bands are associated with vastly different aesthetics and have different emotional tones. This does not disqualify a friendship forming between these two groups of people, but in many cases it can reflect different personal values, outlooks on life, providing an opening for conversation that can lead to mutual understanding. With friendship the fear of isolation and uncertainty can begin to fade, allowing for a student to settle into their environment and feel more comfortable with themselves. A secure environment allows a student to venture further into self-exploration. As diverse groups of people interact with each other, they share opposing ideas, sparking new discoveries about the self. Music fuels the development of these ideas; artists like Björk and The Cocteau Twins include complex topics while being accompanied by ethereal tones. Things that may have previously been unexplored are now being analyzed, strengthening new ideas and preexisting connections. By translating the inner workings of people with beats and rhythm, music is not just a part of the background noise accompanied in daily life-it can be the defining factor of an individual's perception of self, relationships, and how they interpret the world.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (3/4)
Sophistication (0/1)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The thesis takes a position and lays out a plan. It calls music "an auditory mirror to a person's psychological state" and then names three things music does for a listener, which are comfort, connection, and help in building an identity. The body paragraphs take up those functions in order, so a reader always knows where the argument stands. The final sentence returns to the claim and widens it, calling music "the defining factor of an individual's perception of self, relationships, and how they interpret the world".
The second paragraph pairs each kind of hardship with a kind of music and explains what the music does. An indie-rock song helps after a breakup, a pop song lifts someone during money trouble, and a heavy metal song gives an outlet after a death in the family. The commentary names a mechanism each time. After the breakup example the writer adds, "By providing them with a safe space to grieve externally, they feel less isolated." The metal example works the same way, explaining that the listener "can safely externalize destructive anger without judgment". The third paragraph builds on that pattern by moving from private comfort to a school setting, where "the small act of sharing a song acts as an immediate invitation to bond".
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
Every example in the second paragraph is a type of song ("an indie-rock song", "a light-hearted pop song", "a heavy metal song") with no named track, lyric, or listener. Because the support stays hypothetical, Evidence & Commentary lands at 3 of 4. Real artists appear only in the third and fourth paragraphs, and even there the commentary stops short. Olivia Rodrigo and Nirvana are said to carry "vastly different aesthetics" and "different emotional tones", but the essay never says what those tones are or what a fan of each might value. The fourth paragraph is the thinnest in the essay. It mentions Björk and The Cocteau Twins and then says "Things that may have previously been unexplored are now being analyzed" without naming one of those things.
The essay also leaves part of the prompt untouched. The prompt asks whether the way people view a group they are not part of shapes the music they choose, and the essay only brushes against this when it says pop fans and Nirvana fans may hold "different personal values". That same sentence admits the difference "does not disqualify a friendship forming between these two groups of people", which complicates the claim that taste signals values. The essay moves past it in one clause. The Sophistication point would have come from working through that tension, for example by asking whether listeners pick music to match the group they want to belong to, which would also answer the prompt's question about outsiders.
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