6/6 AP World History LEQ Essay: Industrial Revolution
This is a real leq essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 6/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP World History essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
Develop an argument that evaluates the extent to which the growth of industrialization led to economic, social, or political change during this period
The Essay
Before the industrial revolution era, Great Britain was going through a period of time where many aspects of the country were stable. Britain was isolated from other countries, had a natural supply of resources like coal, had a stable government where citizens were happy, and due to the agricultural revolution there was a surplus of crops which helped to increase the population by millions. These stable conditions helped the people of Great Britain focus more on creating new inventions and ideologies instead of having to worry about things like war and famine. To a great extent the Industrial Revolution led to many significant economic changes during the industrial era from 1750-1900 like the switch from the cottage system to textile factories and new ideologies like capitalism but also had many important continuities like the exploitation of the working class. One very significant economic change during the industrial revolution was the switch from the cottage system to factories for production of goods. Before the industrial revolution production of goods were mainly made by families by hand in cottages, giving it the name the cottage system. During the industrial revolution factories were starting to become more popular because of faster production, cheaper prices, and more job opportunities for families. All these factors helped to increase supply and demand causing families that were a part of the cottage system to not be able to keep up with these factories. This forced families to go searching for work eventually causing the cottage system to no longer be practiced in Great Britain.The switch from mercantilism to capitalism was also a very important change during this era. The spread of the large factories also helped Adam Smith's idea of capitalism and laizes fair/hands of approach became very popular in Britain during this era. Capitalism became increasingly popular because the government and people who owned these factories believed that a free market helped to create competition which led to companies producing better products and inventions and also helped to support the economy. During the industrial era there were also many significant continuities like the continued poor treatment and poverty of the working class in Great Britain. During the industrial era ideologies like capitalism becoming popular forced many people to move the cities to look for work in capitalist factories. Due to the free market and laissez faire approach from the government this forced factory workers to work in extremely harsh and dangerous conditions for low wages because there were no minimum wage laws or regulations for work days. This forced working class people to live in slums and caused entire families including children to have to work to try and support their families financially. This caused poor life quality for the working class, although this countinutie of poor treatment of the working class had a very negative impact on many working class families it also helped create some positive changes like saddler committee which helped to form very important reforms like child labor laws, minimum wage, and safer factory conditions that would help to benefit them in long term.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Contextualization (1/1)
Evidence (2/2)
Analysis & Reasoning (2/2)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The thesis gives its answer to the extent question and names what it will prove. It says industrialization led "To a great extent" to economic change, lists the switch from the cottage system to textile factories and the rise of capitalism, and sets one continuity beside them, the exploitation of the working class. Each of those items becomes a body paragraph or half of one, so the reader can follow the plan from the start.
The opening paragraph sets up the period with conditions that came before it. Britain had coal, a stable government, and a crop surplus from the agricultural revolution that grew the population "by millions". The essay then explains why that mattered, saying the stability let people focus on new inventions and ideas because they did not have to worry about war and famine. That link from earlier conditions to industrial change is what the contextualization point asks for.
The second paragraph traces a chain of causes. Factories offered faster production and cheaper prices, so cottage families could "not be able to keep up with these factories" and went looking for work until the cottage system died out. The same paragraph ties Adam Smith and laissez faire to factory owners who believed a free market drove competition and better products. The third paragraph uses the same cause and effect method for continuity. Low wages, long days and no regulation pushed whole families, children included, into factory work and into slums. Then the essay turns that continuity around and argues that the poor treatment led to reform through the Sadler Committee. Showing a continuity that also set up a later change is the kind of complex reasoning behind the second analysis point.
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
The reform sentence at the end of the third paragraph has a factual error. It credits the Sadler Committee with child labor laws, minimum wage, and safer factory conditions. The committee's 1832 report on child labor did lead to the Factory Act of 1833, which limited children's hours in textile mills. Britain had no national minimum wage until 1998, so that item does not belong on the list, and naming the Factory Act would make the point accurate and more specific.
The contextualization also has a shaky claim. Britain traded across a large empire in this period, so calling it "isolated from other countries" overstates the point. Saying that being an island protected Britain from invasion would capture what the paragraph is reaching for.
A few spelling slips distract a reader, including "saddler committee" and "laizes fair" for laissez faire. The essay's last sentence also runs very long and joins three ideas with commas, which blurs the turn from hardship to reform.
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