6/6 AP World History LEQ Essay: Religion and institutions
This is a real leq essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 6/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP World History essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
Develop an argument that evaluates the extent to which interactions between different cultures or religions impacted government and religious institutions in the period from 1450 to 1750
The Essay
Throughout the period 1450 to 1750 many new empires were emerging as a result of the adoption of new wartime technology such as cannons, and these new empires would often use this technology to expand rapidly. Cultures started interacting with each other. In Europe Martin Luther was becoming sick of indulgences and other examples of the Catholic Church’s corruption and wrote his 95 theses, which resulted in the Protestant reformation and the formation of a different branch of Christianity. Although cultural interactions sometimes resulted in the fusion of cultures and the creation of new religions, religious separations had a larger impact on institutions. When the Mughal Empire expanded into the area that the Delhi Sultanate used to control, there was a profoundly impactful interaction between the religion of Islam and Hinduism. After this interaction, Guru Natat merged the two and created the new religion of Sikhism, which then became quite popular in this area. Sikhism had a pretty significant impact on the culture of this empire, however it did not have too much influence on the government. Although they did adapt the Millet system, which allowed certain religions to “rule themselves” in a way, the formation of Sikhism specifically did not have a large impact on the major institutions within the Mughal Empire. The formation of and interactions with different religions in newly centralized empires impacted the government and religious institutions. In Europe, rather than forming a new religion by diffusing two others like Guru Natat did, Martin Luther, using his 95 theses, split Catholicism into two separate branches of Christianity. The Protestant reformation had a significant impact on the governments of Europe. Rather than being associated with a corrupt institution like the catholic church, they began seizing control from the Pope. This reformation resulted almost directly in the further centralization and legitimization of power in France and Britain. Additionally, in Britain, King Henry the VIII further split from the Catholic religion and therefore the pope by creating the new religion of Anglicanism, which placed him at the head of both the State and the Church, drastically changing the institutions from what they were before. Beyond Europe, in the Ottoman empire, the interactions of many different religions dictated much of their governing style and treatment of neighboring empires. Rather than running their bureaucracy based on specifically merit or loyalty, they began using the Devshirme system to run their government. The Devsirme were Christian boys from the Balkans that would then convert to Islam and have either serve as a Janissary(elite military group) or a bureaucrat. Doing this provided extremely loyal bureaucrats and upward social mobility to an otherwise stuck group of people. Externally, the Ottomans fought with the Safavid empire extensively over whether Sunni Islam(Ottomans) or Shi’a Islam(Safavids) adhered more to Muhhammed and his teachings. Although the formation of new religions via religious fusion had some impact on government and religious institutions, it was the interaction between different branches of the same religion that had more of an impact on these institutions
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Contextualization (1/1)
Evidence (2/2)
Analysis & Reasoning (2/2)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The thesis answers the extent question with a comparison. The writer claims that "religious separations had a larger impact on institutions" than the fusion of cultures did, and the body paragraphs are built to test that claim. The Mughal paragraph covers fusion through Sikhism, and the Europe and Ottoman paragraphs cover splits within a single faith. The opening sets the period in the rise of new empires that used "new wartime technology such as cannons" to expand, which gives the argument a setting before the evidence starts.
The Ottoman paragraph carries the most specific evidence. The writer explains that the Devshirme took Christian boys from the Balkans who converted to Islam and served as Janissaries or bureaucrats, then says what the practice did. It "provided extremely loyal bureaucrats and upward social mobility to an otherwise stuck group of people." The Sunni and Shi'a rivalry with the Safavids extends the point from the government's inner workings to its foreign relations. The Europe paragraph links a religious change to a shift in power. Henry VIII's break with Rome created Anglicanism, "which placed him at the head of both the State and the Church."
The analysis point comes from the weighing itself. The writer concedes that fusion "had some impact on government and religious institutions" and still argues that splits within a religion mattered more, so the conclusion holds both sides of the comparison.
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
Two factual slips weaken the evidence even though the essay earned full credit. The founder of Sikhism is Guru Nanak, and the essay calls him "Guru Natat" twice. The Mughal paragraph also credits that empire with the Millet system, which was an Ottoman institution for letting non-Muslim communities govern their own religious affairs. In the Ottoman paragraph, the Millet system would have been strong support for the claim that religious diversity shaped how that empire governed.
The Sikhism paragraph is the thinnest part of the argument. It says the new faith "did not have too much influence on the government" and moves on without evidence of what the Mughal state did change, such as Akbar's policy of religious tolerance or the end of the jizya tax on non-Muslims. With one concrete example there, the fusion side of the comparison would have real weight, and the thesis would win against a stronger opponent. The claim that the Reformation strengthened the crown in France also needs care, since France stayed Catholic. The point works better with a Protestant state as the example.
Ready to improve your own essay? Grade your AP World History essay free with AI.
