6/6 AP English Literature Poetry Essay Example #3
This is a real poetry essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 6/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Literature essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
In Colleen McElroy’s poem “Monologue for Saint Louis,” published in 1980, the speaker returns to her childhood home in St. Louis, Missouri, after an extended absence and contemplates how she has changed. Read the poem carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how McElroy uses literary elements and techniques to convey the speaker’s complex experience of returning home. In your response you should do the following:
- Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible interpretation.
- Select and use evidence to support your line of reasoning.
- Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
- Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.
The Passage
The Essay
Returning to her childhood home after an extended absence, in Colleen McElory’s poem “Monologue for Saint Louis” (1980), she contrasts her past memories with the heavily altered present landscape to serve as an interpersonal reflection of her past and the consequences of failing to enjoy moments of life while they last on both a sensory and social level. McElory expresses guilt for her delayed return through describing how the landscapes of her earlier memories have disappeared from reality before she returned to St. Louis, cautioning the reader against being ignorant to change caused by time. Facilitated by the enjambment and lower case throughout the entire poem which create a sense of emptiness and monotony that echoes the wilted landscape, the metaphor in “home again and the heart barely there” further portrays a sense of hollowness stemming from a lost ability to connect with the “heart” of her childhood home. Furthermore, through the visceral elements of first person narration, the imagery as McElory reminisces on her past memories of “blue-black grapes we snitched every summer from the neighbor’s arbor succulent pockets of flesh laced with green staining our lips and fingers” gives her poem a nostalgic undertone as the reader is prompted to momentarily imagine to the author’s joyful childhood that no longer exists. Additionally, realising that she has returned too late, McElory expresses “vowing penance for all [her] disappearances”, emphasising the poet’s emotional devastation caused by guilt as a result of a prolonged absence from her childhood home, extending to serve as a subtle warning of the emotional consequences regarding waiting too long until places of sentimental value have altered and lost their beauty. Having established the change of landscapes as a factor that has eroded her capacity to resonate with her childhood home, McElory then turns her attention to illustrating the departure of people as another consequence of being ignorant to the change caused by time. As the poet reflects that “we are the women we whispered about each summer”, the repetition of the word “we” highlights the absence of human intimacy after her return to St. Louis, since her childhood friends are no longer there. Further echoed as she again thinks of her “cousins [that] have disappeared”, the irony between her own disappearance and her friend’s disappearance elucidates how prolonged absence causes disconnection. Moreover, the personification in “one-way signs aligned like a lacework of warnings or accusing fingers” showcases McElory’s guilt that lead to her no longer feeling welcome in her childhood community as she projects normal road signage as being “warnings” and “accusing fingers” which reflect her self-blame. However, McElory arguably ends the poem on a positive note through her declarative clause that “I am home a stranger in love with words with tart sweet clusters of poems”, perhaps suggesting that through the power of poetry, one is able to rediscover the beauty of an altered landscape that no longer matches one’s past memories, urging the reader to discover beauty anew amid guilt and regret. Hence, McElory’s poem “Monologue to St. Louis” serves as an interpersonal reflection on the consequences of being ignorant to the altering world as a result of time. She warns the reader against waiting too long until places of sentimental value have eroded, yet ends her poem on a hopeful note, suggesting that beauty can be rediscovered.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (4/4)
Sophistication (1/1)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The thesis sets up two threads, loss "on both a sensory and social level," and the essay follows both of them to the end. The first body paragraph starts with form. The writer points to the lower case and the metaphor in "home again and the heart barely there" and connects them to a hollowness that matches the changed neighborhood. The grape imagery gets the same treatment. The writer quotes "blue-black grapes we snitched every summer" and explains that the sensory detail carries nostalgia for a childhood that no longer exists, so each quote leads to a claim about the speaker. The second body paragraph shifts from places to people. The repetition of "we" becomes a marker of lost closeness, and the writer catches an irony between the speaker's own absences and her "cousins [that] have disappeared." The sharpest reading in the essay is the personification in "one-way signs aligned like a lacework of warnings or accusing fingers." The writer argues that the speaker projects her own guilt onto ordinary road signs, which is a specific claim about how the device works in this poem. Sophistication works differently from the other points, because it rewards one move. Here that move comes near the end, where the writer reads "I am home a stranger in love with words" as a turn toward finding beauty again through poetry. The reading is arguable, and the essay commits to it.
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
The essay says "enjambment and lower case" run through the whole poem, but the line it quotes does not show enjambment, so the device name has no proof attached. Pointing to a line that runs past its break, such as "thick as the clumps of blue-black," and saying what the break does would fix that. The ending could also go further. The writer calls the close hopeful, but the speaker is still "a stranger" and is "lost in a riddle of words." An analysis that held that tension open would match the poem more closely. Small errors cost the essay some polish too. The poet's name is McElroy, but the essay spells it "McElory" every time. The conclusion also calls the poem "Monologue to St. Louis" when the title is "Monologue for Saint Louis."
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