6/6 AP English Literature Poetry Essay Example #2
This is a real, anonymized poetry essay written by an AP student and scored 6/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Literature essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
In Ai's poem "The Man with the Saxophone," published in 1985, the speaker encounters a man playing a saxophone. Read the poem carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how Ai uses literary elements and techniques to convey the complexity of the speaker's encounter with the saxophone player at that particular time and place.
The Passage
The Essay
In The Man with the Saxophone, Ai uses characterization and vivid descriptions to show the disorienting effects which encountering the saxophone player has on the speaker, which emphasizes their momentary relief from the harshness of life. Throughout the poem, Ai uses characterization to show the disorienting effects which encountering the saxophone player has on the speaker. At the start of the poem, the speaker details how they want to “turn [themselves] into a bird” but are “earthbound.” This sets up the speaker as someone who sees themselves as trapped to the earth, which is in this case New York City. The speaker does not actually want to become a bird but is describing themselves as someone trying to get away from the atmosphere of the city. However, by framing the characterization as zoomorphism, they are showing the impossibleness of this desire. Afterwards, they say that “solitude is my companion, the only one you can count on.” This characterization shows how the speaker is someone who is alone but embraces that loneliness. By saying that loneliness is the only thing they can count on, the speaker is showing their disregard for other people and detachment from others. However, later on, the speaker encounters a man playing a saxophone. The speaker stops and listens to the player, describing it as “for that one moment, I’m the unencumbered bird of my imagination.” This characterization shows how the speaker is disoriented by the saxophone player — they are freed from the world only to be put back in the bird cage of New York City. And, even though the speaker had previously rejected the idea of companionship, they had found joy in another person, the saxophone player. Their usage of “unencumbered,” which means without burden, shows that the saxophone player was capable of lifting the speaker from their restraints and giving them the happiness that they felt they could never achieve. This ultimately emphasizes the speaker’s momentary relief from the harshness of life. Additionally, Ai uses vivid descriptions to show the disorienting effects which the saxophone player had on them. Throughout the poem, the setting is presented quite frankly as early winter morning in New York City, but Ai still draws on certain descriptions which paint what the speaker experiences first-hand. First, the snow is described as “brittle now and unrecognizable as the soft, white hair that bearded the face of the city.” This vivid description of the snow shows how the city is undergoing more bitter colds than earlier, as the snow is starting to freeze. The usage of “brittle” indicates that it is hardening, and this poem is told through the speaker’s perspective which shows how the speaker focuses on the city as becoming more harsh over time. This demonstrates their adversity to the city’s atmosphere. Next, when the speaker is listening to the saxophone player, they describe the atmosphere as “silence so complete” which is “somewhere else, not here, not in this city, this heartland of pure noise.” This vivid description of the new atmosphere shows the disorientation that the speaker experiences. They are taken aback by how it feels nothing like the city and must be in another space, which is more calming. They indicate this calm through saying “he steps backward to let me know I’m welcome.” This new space is an escape, a distraction, from the poor atmosphere of the city: they embrace the stop to the pure, uncomfortable noise caused by the city, using bountiful words like “complete” to describe “silence” which indicates a lack. Specifically, this unconventional wordplay shows the contentness the speaker feels with their new space. Therefore, this description demonstrates the speaker’s relief from the harshness of the cold, adverse city around them which had taken their attention at the start of the poem. Ultimately, this relief is temporary. The speaker again uses vivid descriptions when they end the poem by saying that each saxophone note is “a black flower.” Flowers are typically associated with liveliness and spring, but in this context, the city is in winter and the modifier “black” indicates death, decay, and misfortune. They are still within the city and controlled by its uncomfortable atmosphere. This paints a vivid description of the comfort of the note decaying within the harshness of winter that the speaker described earlier in the poem. This shows how the speaker’s relief caused by the disorientation of the saxophone player is still only momentary as the notes fade away. Therefore, Ai’s usage of vivid descriptions shows the disorienting effects of the saxophone player and their momentary relief.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (4/4)
Sophistication (1/1)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The essay builds a focused, defensible argument: the saxophone encounter disorients the speaker into momentary relief from the city's harshness. It anchors that claim in concrete textual evidence, including the bird zoomorphism, the brittle snow, the silence so complete, and especially the black flower that opens into the unforgiving new day. The analysis of that final image is the strongest moment in the response, because the writer reads the tension between liveliness and decay rather than simply naming the metaphor. The thesis is interpretive and names both devices and a clear meaning, which establishes a line of reasoning for the rest of the essay. Specific textual evidence grounds the characterization claim and sets up the bird motif for later analysis. The writer names zoomorphism and connects it to meaning, the impossibility of escape, which advances the argument. The bird imagery is then tied to the speaker's brief freedom and return, directly supporting the thesis about momentary relief. Vivid imagery is selected and its effect is read, the city hardening, linking description to the speaker's growing adversity.
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
In the first body paragraph, the claim that the speaker does not actually want to become a bird is asserted rather than argued from the text. It needs to be grounded in the poem's language: how do earthbound or the shaman I was meant to be complicate the speaker's desire? Some commentary leans on restating the device rather than deepening the analysis. After quoting silence so complete, for example, the essay explains that complete indicates a lack, but it could push further into how the paradox of silence in a heartland of pure noise shapes the speaker's disorientation. The phrase disorienting effects appears in nearly every paragraph. Varying how the speaker's experience is named, whether as freedom, communion, or fleeting transcendence, would let the argument build instead of circle.
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