5/7 AP World History DBQ Essay: Mongol impact on Eurasia
This is a real dbq essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 5/7 by our AI grader — one of many AP World History essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
Create an argument that evaluates the extent to which the Mongols impacted Eurasian societies during the 1200 - 1450 CE time period.
The Essay
In the period of 1200 to 1450 C.E., nomadic tribes across the Mongolian steppes unified under one universal ruler, Genghis Khan, establishing the Mongol Empire. The Mongols rapidly expanded into the largest land empire in world history through their conquests across Eurasia. Although their conquest resulted in widespread destruction and millions of deaths, through religious tolerance, the Mongols connected East Asia, the Islamic world, and Eastern Europe, which supported trades, spread of religion and technologies, and economic prosperity. The Mongols impacted Eurasian societies to a large extent during the period of 1200-1450 by causing widespread destruction (2, 5) while promoting economic development and trade connections (4, 7) across different regions of Eurasia. The Mongols destroyed cities and killed millions of people during their conquests. In Document 2, the destruction in parts of Russia was portrayed from the perspective of Orthodox monks who valued literacy and Christian beliefs. As depicted, the Mongols ruthlessly raided Russia, and “they likewise killed...men, women, and children, monks, nuns and priests, some by fire, some by sword, and violated nuns, priests’ wives, good women and girls in the presence of their mothers and sisters….” The religious figures like monks, nuns, and priests conveyed that the Mongols not only disrupted civilians, It also disrupted religious communities and Christians institutions in Russia. Additionally, Document 5 depicted how the Mongol’s expansion utilized terror as their military strategy. In the written letter from the Pope to the Great Khan, the Pope intended to “live together by the example of the Pacific King in the unity of peace under the fear of God, warn, request, and advise your unity intently.” The Pope believed that establishing peaceful relations with the Mongols would avoid any tensions and conflicts. The Mongols' use of fear and terror was shown to be effective even to Western European leaders. The Pope’s attempt to create peace demonstrated the political concerns that the Mongols had for European leaders. Rather than direct confrontation, the Pope attempted to prevent further conflicts, which depicted how the Mongols’ expansion altered societies and forced them to adjust to their political strategies instead. The purpose of this document was to establish peaceful relations with the Mongols to avoid further conflicts and widespread destruction. Although they were feared and ruthless at times, the Mongols also connected many civilizations through trade routes and encouraged economic growth. In Document 4, a Persian scholar stated that the Mongols “allowed his sublime thoughts to overflow lavishly" and “never neglected any measure designed to strengthen the framework of peace.” This demonstrated the Mongols’ tolerance for new knowledge, ideologies, and even religion. Through freedom of thoughts, conquered societies under Mongols’ rule encouraged new innovations and beliefs to flourish, contributing to economic prosperity. Their tolerance also portrayed how the Mongols encouraged stability by allowing scholars to contribute to the intellectual and cultural development of the empire, which allowed for more opportunities in trade, ultimately resulting in economic prosperity. The point of view of a Persian scholar and an advisor to the Persian Mongol ruler, Rashid al-Din, may have influenced his views on the positive impact of the Mongols’ rule. Due to his close relation with the Mongol ruler, he emphasized the Mongols’ efforts to establish peace and prosperity through tolerance rather than their destructive conquests. Furthermore, in Document 7, Weatherford explained that Genghis Khan “took the disjointed and languorous trading towns along the Silk Roads and organized them into the world’s largest free trade zone.” This demonstrated that the Mongols directly promoted economic development across Eurasia by connecting major trading centers and organizing long-distance commercials. The Silk Roads under Mongols’ rule allowed merchants to safely and more efficiently, resulting in increased exchange of goods and helped merchants as well as their cities benefit from greater trade relations. During this time, the Mongols also established a period of relative peace and stability within their empire across Eurasia called the Pax Mongolica, which helped them maintain order in trades and commerce throughout such expansive territories. The cause of the Pax Mongolica was the Mongols’ control over the Silk Roads and the overall protection of trade routes. This promoted security and efficiency as it ensured stable relations by allowing merchants to travel safely across Eurasia. Trade stability within the empire supported greater economic development across Eurasia.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Contextualization (1/1)
Evidence from Documents (1/2)
Evidence Beyond Documents (0/1)
Sourcing (1/1)
Complexity (1/1)
Why This Essay Scored Well
The thesis takes a position and splits the argument in two. The writer claims the Mongols impacted Eurasia "to a large extent" by "causing widespread destruction (2, 5)" while "promoting economic development and trade connections (4, 7)," and the document numbers in parentheses tell the reader which evidence backs each half. The introduction earns contextualization by describing nomadic tribes uniting under Genghis Khan and growing into "the largest land empire in world history" before any document appears. Sourcing is the essay's strongest habit. The writer reads Document 2 as the account of "Orthodox monks who valued literacy and Christian beliefs," and uses that point of view to argue that the attacks hit religious communities as well as ordinary civilians. The Rashid al-Din paragraph goes further. The writer notes that he was an advisor to the Persian Mongol ruler and says that position may explain why he stresses peace and prosperity. That keeps the trade half of the argument from turning into simple praise. The complexity point comes from holding both sides together, as in the pivot "Although they were feared and ruthless at times, the Mongols also connected many civilizations through trade routes."
For the full point-by-point rubric behind this score, read our AP essay rubric breakdown.
What Could Be Improved
The essay uses four documents (2, 4, 5 and 7), which is the minimum for the second evidence point, so each one has to clearly support the argument. Document 5 is the weak link. The essay says the Pope's effort "demonstrated the political concerns that the Mongols had for European leaders," which reverses who was worried, since the letter shows the Pope's fear of the Mongols. The next sentence makes the stronger point, that the Pope tried "to prevent further conflicts," and it could carry the paragraph alone. The outside evidence point slipped because the Pax Mongolica appears as a label with little explanation. The last two paragraphs say it brought "relative peace and stability" and helped "maintain order in trades and commerce," then stop. Naming one concrete mechanism, such as the yam system of relay stations for messengers and merchants, and explaining how it made travel safer would turn the label into evidence. The essay also ends without a conclusion, so the final paragraph reads like an unfinished note.
Ready to improve your own essay? Grade your AP World History essay free with AI.
