3/6 AP English Literature Literary Argument Essay Example #6
This is a real literary argument essay written by an AP student (personal details removed) and scored 3/6 by our AI grader — one of many AP English Literature essay examples in our library.
The Prompt
Many works of literature contain a character who intentionally deceives others. The character’s dishonesty may be intended either to help or to hurt. Such a character, for example, may choose to mislead others for personal safety, to spare someone’s feelings, or to carry out a crime.
Choose a novel or play in which a character deceives others. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze the motives for that character’s deception and discuss how the deception contributes to the meaning of a work as a whole.
The Passage
The Essay
In the novel ‘Frankenstein’ Mary Shelley uses Victor’s constant deception to demonstrate the reality that dishonesty, no matter the intention behind it, can bring about destruction. One of the very first things Victor does after creating a new, powerful, hideous life-form, is not telling anyone about it. Victor has the chance to tell his friend, Henry Clerval, the evil he created many times. Clerval asks him what he has been up to and what is wrong with him constantly, yet Victor chooses to hold his tongue. Victor’s decision to act like the creature had never been created and tell no one about it demonstrates the intention of his lies. Victor himself says that if he told anyone, they would believe him mad. Victor keeps the truth to himself to protect himself, but in doing so he puts others in danger. The creature eventually makes its way to Victor’s home land and it runs into Victor’s sweet younger brother, William. The creature ends up strangling William to death, hurting Victor and his family deeply. If Victor had told Clerval, or anyone who would listen to him, about the beast he manufactured, maybe William’s death would have been avoided. If the Frankensteins had been warned about the bloodthirsty being, they would have been much more careful. Victor’s decision to not tell anyone about his creature results in the death of his younger brother. The murderer of William needs to be found, and it seems simple as to who did the deed. The creature framed the family maid, Justine, for such an evil, and almost everyone was convinced. Vitor knows who really murdered his younger brother and Justine is being convicted of the crime. Victor can save Justine’s life, she is sentenced to hanging and all Victor has to do to save her is tell the truth. Victor goes to Justine’s ruling, all the evidence lines up against her, and she is condemned. While in court Victor has the chance to testify, he can tell the judge the truth, he can tell everyone about his creature and how it killed William. Victor chooses yet again to keep his mouth shut, and Justine perishes. Victor's omission of the real murderer of William results in Justine’s hanging! Victor cares too much about seeming like he may have gone mad to save an innocent life. The hiding of the creature once again leads to the death of an innocent. Victor’s deception ultimately culminates in the worst tragedies imaginable. When Victor leaves his family again and decides to create a second creature, he has more chances to tell the truth. At this point the creature has threatened Victor that he will go after what he cherishes most and it has already killed William, yet Victor still chooses to not warn his family about the monster. Victor and Henry travel throughout Europe, eventually ending up needing to go separate ways and Henry once again asks Victor what is wrong with him. Victor chooses yet again to hide the truth. Once Victor angers the creature again it warns him that it will not rest until Victor’s life is ruined, telling Victor that he will be there on his wedding night. Later, Victor comes upon Henry’s corpse, he was killed by the creature. Victor knows the danger his family is facing, he knows the potential consequences of his actions, yet he won't tell the truth. The result is the death of his dearest friend for his entire life. On Victor’s wedding night, a day he had been anxiously anticipating since the creature’s warning, he told Elizabeth to wait in a room and searched for the creature, who must have been waiting to kill him. Victor spots the creature too late, it had already done what it set out to do. Elizabeth was dead. Victor didn’t tell her about the creature, he didn’t tell her about its warning of his wedding night. Because of Victor’s fear of being seen as mad, he didn’t tell.
Score Breakdown
Thesis (1/1)
Evidence & Commentary (2/4)
Sophistication (0/1)
What This Essay Gets Right
The opening sentence gives the essay a defensible thesis. It argues that Shelley uses Victor's "constant deception" to show that dishonesty, "no matter the intention behind it, can bring about destruction." The body paragraphs then follow Victor's silence through four deaths, William, Justine, Henry and Elizabeth, so the evidence builds a pattern across the whole novel.
The best commentary comes when the writer names a motive, which is what the prompt asks for. In the first body paragraph, the essay notes that if Victor told anyone, they "would believe him mad." The Justine paragraph returns to that motive with a sharper line, that Victor "cares too much about seeming like he may have gone mad to save an innocent life." That sentence judges Victor's priorities, and it is the moment the essay moves past retelling. The last body paragraph also frames the pattern as escalation, opening with "Victor's deception ultimately culminates in the worst tragedies imaginable."
What Went Wrong (And How to Avoid It)
Most of each paragraph retells the plot and ends on the same point, that Victor kept quiet and someone died. The first body paragraph spends several sentences on Clerval's questions and William's murder, then closes with "Victor's decision to not tell anyone about his creature results in the death of his younger brother." That line restates events. It never says what the silence reveals about Victor or what Shelley suggests about secrecy, so the second half of the prompt, how the deception shapes the meaning of the work, goes largely unanswered. This is the main reason the essay stays at 2 of 4 for evidence and commentary.
The essay also leans on speculation. It argues that "maybe William's death would have been avoided" if Victor had spoken, which is a guess about the plot. Commentary on Victor's guilt or pride would carry more weight.
The response ends after Elizabeth's death with "Because of Victor's fear of being seen as mad, he didn't tell." No conclusion ties the four deaths back to the thesis. Small errors add up too, including "Vitor" for Victor and an exclamation point after Justine's hanging.
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